She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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