If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
