Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
