Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
