other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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