I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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