Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
