belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
