I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
