Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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