im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
