hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
