Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
