I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
