shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
this hospital has no fireball
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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