Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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