We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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