that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
