my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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