Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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