I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
