you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
