Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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