hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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