he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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