Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
