drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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