Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
