last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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