I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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