i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
