dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
