I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize