Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my sisters under your porch take her home
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
