Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
