just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
