"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
