does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
