I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
