why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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