I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
