You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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