I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
