this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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