Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
operation harelip BJ is a go
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
