I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
