You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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