I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
