i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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