I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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