New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize