i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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