I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
