Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
