he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
