I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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