Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
