Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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