Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
