Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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