Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
