we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize