i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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