And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
