this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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