Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
