I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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