I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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