Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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