Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
