i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
