im drinking this country out of the recession.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
