You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
