ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
