Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
