Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize