i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
