People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
