dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
