I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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