his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
