Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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