Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
