its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
